Does My Story Ring True Of A Person Who Has Bipolar Disorder? (it’s Kind Of A Crazy Story, Hard To Follow)?
I just turned 21 two days ago. I graduated high school at 20 years old. (last summer) not because I’m stupid. (I’m actually very intelligent) It’s just that ever since I turned 11 or 12 I feel like my mind has completely shifted from reality it seems. School has never seemed important to me since then. When I was in middle school that’s when all my hormones started to kick in and I would daydream in class all day about boys and sex. This continued throughout high school. I was too shy to approach any boys and they certainly weren’t approaching me. I started to skip class to hang out with my friends. My studies were so low in my priorities. I was held back 2 years in 9th grade. So when my friends graduated in 2006 I was still in 10th grade. Then I transferred schools but it didn’t help. I became obsessed with the idea of sex and having a boyfriend and began putting myself in compromising situations to get that. I moved out of my house and skipped school for a week and was wandering around the streets that week having sex with random men. I got very sick and when I went back home I had to go to the hospital because I had a very high fever and I couldn’t speak at all. This happened at the beginning of last year. After I spent a month bed ridden trying to get my health back in order, my parents were dead set on me finishing high school. So they got me into a type of home schooling program and by June I had obtained my diploma. About a month later, after searching for a job, I got my first job at Walmart. Everything was going normally until I felt like I was being ignored. I wanted some attention so I started doing stuff with some of co-workers and quickly I became the subject of conversation for everyone. I was enjoying my sudden fame until it backfired badly on me. I got involved with another woman’s husband and got ostracized for it. I felt so bad that I wrote a suicide letter to my parents. They found it a couple of days later and took me to a mental hospital where I stayed for 2 weeks. They had given me some pills to take. When I went back home I was fired from my job. I was very depressed and stayed at home day after day after day. I had distanced myself from all my friends so I had no one to talk to. After about 2 months of staying at home I got into an argument with my dad which caused me to overdose on Abilify and my parents took me to the hospital again. This was in December 2008 and it was then that I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I stayed in the hospital this time for about a week. When I came back home nothing changed. I didnt get any pills. I couldn’t find a job and I’m not in college because I dont want to be I wake up every morning and I dont do anything. I dont want to do anything.
I say you’re going through Major depression… I HATE to use the word disorder because I really think taking too many drugs to fix a problem isnt always good…. I’m sure you suffered extreme humiliation during the walmart thing. Losing your job and self security will do that to you. I once lost my job, my best friend and my wife in the same week years ago. Although it devastated me at the time. I look back on it now and just shrug it off. I did exclude myself from many activities I once loved and fell into a big slump of doing nothing everyday all day for about a year at my folks place. Didnt shower for days… was just real sad. After all that I tried to do things I really never committed to. Exercise, healthy eating, cooking even video gaming. I really cant tell u what u have. I really don’t know to be honest. Just find things in life that give u that spark of life again. If u dont find it… wait. Life changes with every breath u take and suicide is never the answer. Know that the feelings u feel are felt by many, everyday, everywhere in every language. There’s more to my story that mirrors yours. I dont take pills I feel make a small problem bigger. and It’s really all just all about growing up. Time to start somewhere new… Get away to a hotel for a week just for the pool.. or just to get away. Tell NO one you work with again of your history and just try to move on and just be you. Jobs will come soon. I never finished high school and saw a passion for food and became a great chef. I have the 2 greatest kids now and met the love of my life… this all really wouldn’t have never happened hadn’t that terrible year come. Things really do happen for a reason…. and before I hit u with some other cliché quote Im going to end this here. just please know… Suicide is NEVER the answer. I wish I could help u more.
therapies which can help you ar e
spiritual healing
and reiki
massage
karma therapy –dong something useful for someone else daily
good company
the violet ray machine
Hon, it might be bipolar disorder that you suffer from and I would really like to suggest to you that medical intervention may be able to help stabilize some of the feelings you are having. It’s not anything to be ashamed of or feel bad about because it is a medical condition. I had a friend that had situations like you described and when she took her medicine, life was a whole lot easier for her and didn’t feel as bad – she did great when she was taking her meds. I really hope you will at least try getting some treatment to at least give it a chance to help. You might also look into learning how to meditate – that can help as well because meditation can ease stress, relieve the mind of it’s challenges, and can help stabilize wild emotional swings. I wish you lots of luck, and don’t get discouraged. If you get to feeling particularly bad, I’d like you to follow some advice and just try sitting down and hum some music – that’s almost like meditating and can help relax you, calm your emotions. You can rock your body back and forth a little bit as well (I do at times without even realizing it, it helps me when I get over anxious), it’s like how babies love to be rocked, it is always a comfort.
I would say that maybe you have some form of mental dysfuntion, maybe you are just an exhibitionist, who knows. Why not start by finding some loyal friends where sex is not involved then work from thier. Try different activities, try to find a relationship where love is involved as this will be more fullfilling in the long term than casual relationships which my cause others pain. Maybe does not sound exciting but why would you want to be shallow and hedonistic when all can be had by sitting back occasionaly and taking life slowly. Why rush when you have the rest of your life to enjoy. Sit back, deep breath and take one day at a time. Find one small thing in each day which you can be proud of yourself for, even if it is getting out of bed before mid day.
From my understanding Manic Depressants have “up-down” mood swings.
My grade 9 English Teacher had Bipolar and one week he was happy as larry, thinking everything was going great in his life and then the next he was driving head on into a Road Train before he realised there was something wrong with him…
He’s been done for Sexual Assualt on 11 counts and is currently serving an extended sentence in prison for similar charges but when medicated he feels he isn’t himself, like he is in “zombie mode”
I know there is a lot more to the condition than what i have been told from him but as well as that, each case is different i suppose