Birth Control- Is It Mainly The Woman’s Responsibility?
Many men don’t like the idea of wearing condoms or having vasectomies.
But there are many health risks associated with the pill. I know because
I had a large tumor (called an adenoma) removed from my liver surgically
because I took birth control pills for many years. I now have a 14 inch incision in my abdomen that is quite painful to live with. There are birth control options for men that are much safer- but many men don’t want to use them because they “interfere” with his pleasure. I think that attitude is selfish on their part. What do you think?
Sure it should be the responsibility of both. If having casual sex with different partners condoms should always be worn anyway. It’s just tough if it slightly interferes with the man’s pleasure, it sometimes does for women too, but sex with condoms is preferable to no sex. If in a relationship I think it’s selfish not to discuss the issue and leave it up to the woman. I had health problems with the contraceptive pill too, but nothing like you describe. I had headaches, nausea and mood swings. Oh and my sex drive plummeted too, so it was certainly effective. After that I used the rhythm method, withdrawal and condoms for years. But I guess it also depends who cares more. It’s stupid for men to refuse to use birth control then turn around and complain that their partner’s going to have a baby.
It should be the responsibility of both parties. Meaning if the woman is going to invest in taking the pill or getting a diaphragm or what have you, the man should be willing to use a condom or spermicide or something (did you know they are working on developing a male birth control pill?)
It should not be the woman’s job alone. Yes, she’s the only party who can get pregnant, but both men and women can get STDs, so they should both be equally concerned with preventing them.
Yup, unfortunately. It is “her body, her choice” after all. Since her body is the one that will get pregnant, it is up to her to make sure she is protected. To expect the man to forego pleasure in order to protect her, because she doesn’t feel like doing it herself, now that is selfish! It is her body and therefore up to her.
I think more women need to consider the option of the diaphragm. It doesn’t interfere with either partner’s pleasure, it has no hormonal side effects like the Pill or IUDs or rings, and it doesn’t break or move around like condoms or sponges. It works really well if you use it properly (and that’s easy to do). I don’t know why more women aren’t choosing diaphragms, but they are a great way to prevent pregnancy.
Selfish yes, certainly. I hate it that men whine about oupatient vasectemies in order to get women to do full abdominal surgery to get their tubes tied.
BUT, selfish or not…if your in a relationship (or just having sex) and the guy is being selfish…it’s still our responsibility to decide to sleep with his lazy a## or to just deal with it and do the birth control thing. We ultimately are the ones who have to deal with a baby, and I certainly believe that it’s the woman responsibility to say “no” if her demands aren’t met.
I have always accepted responsibility for myself, and saw to it that I wouldn’t get pregnant. I didn’t want to be on the pill either, so I used a diaphragm. I also had my own supply of condoms because I also didn’t want an STD. Whoever didn’t want to wear a condom was unceremoniously kicked out of my bed, my house and my life. No glove, no love. Never had a problem, probably because I didn’t sleep with jerks. When it comes to my health and well-being, I call the shots.
I can’t imagine a married man refusing to wear a condom if his wife had health problems on the pill and couldn’t use a diaphragm. Here, babe – wear this. Period.
I don’t think it’s entirely the woman’s responsibility. However, other than condoms, there arent too many methods of birth control for men to use. Getting “fixed” is something that men typically don’t do unless they’ve had children. So, in essence, it does fall to the woman to make sure she’s on the pill (one of many), the patch, the shot, or one of the newer methods available.
I totally agree with you. It is easier and safer for it to be the man’s responsibility. I’ve never taken birth control and refuse to. It caused my mother to have to have a total hysterectomy and failed to protect her anyway. My sister and I are both living proof of this. It didn’t work for my aunt or my cousin either. I think its genetic and therefore I don’t trust it. I say tell the man to wrap it or put it back in his pants.
I would say that it’s both parents’ responsibility. However, as long as women have the extra right to abort and get the benefit of the doubt in parenting issues, then yes, it is more their responsibility, because they have more rights.
Childfree Wolf- Every single man, woman, and child on the face of the earth could stand inside the city limits of Jacksonville. Are we really that overpopulated, or are just some areas of the world? Perhaps if greedy, materialistic people who think that Rolexes and stamps in passports are the key to happiness didn’t take up everything we’d have plenty to go around for everyone.
It all depends as there are many different types of birth control and some women get on ok with them. If you have had a medical issue like yourself, its a bit selfish if the man wont use condoms.
My mum collapsed on birth control once (years ago when the pill first came out) so she hasnt taken in since. I dont think my dad was bothered as he just cares for her safety.
birth control should be responsibility of the person who wants to use it.
it’s usually women who want to use it so they dont get pregnant…. so it’s their responsibility.
personally for me, i dont want to use birth control, so if a man does then it’s up to him to buy it and use it.
It is a shared responsibility. The man and the woman involved should take responsibility for this.
Both should think about it before dropping their pants. Women saying ‘you should have worn it before dropping em’ are only hypocritical when they didn’t take precautions in the first place.
Birth control is a woman’s responsibility.
When she fails at that simple task, the responsibility falls on the man to fund the raising of the child.
Everyone knows the risks of having sex and should take the responsibility to protect THEMSELVES – from unexpected pregnancies to STDs.
Nope. Men are always crying about child support, but they don’t want any responsibility either.
Her body, her choice, her responsibility.
A relationship is give and take right. So I say, the male should do his part.
Tis better to be wise than to be stupid and lose. Put yourself first at all costs; no one else is going to.
No, both parties need to practice safe sex. It takes two to tango.
No it is not. It is anyone who has sex! Especially if you don’t know the party well!
It is laziness on the part of the men who do not want to wear condoms. Condoms do not minimize men’s pleasure, particularly if the man has taken the time to sensualize condom use. The man who learns to put a drop or two of good quality lube in the tip of the condom and even masturbates with them will learn that you can have as much or more pleasure using condoms.
That being said, I personally take full responsiblity for birth control in my relationships. Let me explain. I have my own hormonal birth control that I prefer to use, not just for birth control, but also to level my hormone levels so I don’t feel like I’m about to pass out during my period. But I also know that hormonal birth control isn’t 100% effective, nor does it protect from STIs. So I also insist on condoms as well. I have supplied the condoms in relationship for years because I’ve found men to be unreliable when it comes to providing their own. I would rather supply my own condoms than to have to listen to a man beg and plead to have sex without. Providing my own completely removes that nuisance.
Birth control is the responsibility of whoever in a relationship does not want to have a child in 9 months. When I was younger and more unsure of myself I made the mistake of trusting my ex-partner to take care of it, but when, at 17 I became pregnant guess who ended up taking care of the baby that resulted?
Don’t get me wrong , I don’t regret my daughter but I do wish she had come after I was through with school and established in my career. I still have the same goals but achieving them has become much harder.
Now I make certain it won’t happen again by taking responsibility for my own birth control and protection from STD’s. If you can’t take the pill there are other options, Depo shots, diaphram etc., and if my present man won’t use a condom he gets no sex. Period.
It’s an equal responsibility for couples who can trust each other. I don’t think it’s selfish to not want to use condoms, which interfere with pleasure, or to not want to have surgery, which can have complications for either gender, or to not want to use a diaphragm because it takes some expertise, or to not want to use an IUD because of possible side effects, or to not want to take the pill due to the health risks. I’m sorry you suffer with them. In my youth, most women I was involved with avoided the pill for health concerns.
Personally, I’m a fan of the diaphragm. It’s minimally inconvenient, highly effective, perfectly safe, and doesn’t interfere with anyone’s pleasure. But there are no birth control methods that aren’t unpleasant or unhealthy in some way, and it seems self-evident to me that men and women share the responsibility of planning to have or not have children, and to choose a method that both are comfortable with.
I was sexually active for over a decade before I married and had (planned) children, and despite differences in what birth-control techniques different women preferred, we always came to a quick agreement and there were never any unwanted pregnancies or side effects. A woman can take responsibility along with her partner without taking potentially dangerous hormones.
Not all men are like that. Many refuse to not wear a condom because they don’t trust that women are using birth control properly, and/or they feel it’s best to have 2 forms of birth control.
I’m sorry to hear about the complications you had while on the pill. Nothing is 100% foolproof. Though I think the pill is one of the most trusted (if not *the* most trusted) temporary, reversible birth control methods for women. It’s been around for many decades & people have had time to study how it works & what kind of complications it may cause. Other birth control methods are more recent & the current women using them are kind of like guinea pigs.
There isn’t a birth control pill for men yet, so they have to settle with either condoms or vasectomies. Many men, understandably, will not want a vasectomy, and condoms truthfully are not really that reliable as a method of birth control.
Birth control definitely does fall onto the woman’s lap, but I think if men could have more options they’d take them. Sometimes it doesn’t seem fair, but women do have an upper hand with this.
Also, any decent man would wear a condom. If he refuses to he’s immature and mentally unfit to deal with whatever may result from not wearing a condom.
The male pill had many bad side effects. It is sort of the first domino in a line. If a man takes the male pill he will have to take testosterone, and anti-depressants to counter the side effects. It will be quite a money-maker for the drug companies, just like the female pill is. Just think. Not only did they sell you pills, but the same companies supplied the drugs needed when you had the surgery to remove your tumor.
Anyway the problem with most men is their ego. They are afraid that getting a vasectomy will make them feel less manly. They feel the same about condoms. I have no male ego, so I had no problem getting a vasectomy. I can now have all the sex I ever want, and them some. But most men don’t see it that way until they are about 40.
I think religion plays into it as well. Most churches play up men as the “leader” and the woman as the follower. So they appeal to his male ego and tell them not to get sterilizations. After all, the churches want all those future tithing paying children. It seems that only the churches can’t tell that the world is over-populated.
It’s funny how women get offended when men tell them what to do with their bodies, but all of a sudden every woman is an expert when it comes to the male anatomy.
It is every person’s responsibility to take control of their reproductive options and every man’s right to not want to use birth control as it is a woman’s, but that doesn’t mean you have to sex with them. Unless rape occurred, women are just as implicit when having unprotected sex.
so…. why didn’t they just tie your tube when you were already cut open then?