I’m Going Through A Nasty Divorce And I Need All The Help I Can Get. After 23 Yrs. Who Do I Turn To For Help?
I have a 18 yr.old senior who’s college bound and we’re going on scholarship but we need a car. That Fool Infidel took mine and the judged hasn’t decided to give it back yet. I’m legally disabled and don’t receive any disability. I haven’t worked since Dec. 31, 1999. I have Lupus, Raynaulds Disease and RA & several other chronic illnesses. I’m seeking what ever help is out there. I do have any attorney & after 16 months of filing for a legal seperation (in order to keep health insurance) I’m no closer to anything. My husband who was a Deacon at our church got caught cheating at Vacation Bible school by our youngest son and then I caught him talking with what the bible call her as a prostituting whore. The Fool infidel decided that after 23 years he didn’t want to be married anymore. He wouldn’t even by my medication or my glasses. The church did. That was the least the church could do since, the Pastor knew about the affair because I told him & he did nothing! 2 Marriages destroyed!
My heart goes out to you in a huge way. All this and
lupus too! Your situation is very familiar to me and
perhaps I can offer you some suggestions that might
help. Can’t offer you a shotgun loaded with rocksalt
because we lupies are kind creatures and that only
makes our symptoms worse. Not that any of this is
helping!
Your lawyer seems to be stuck in slo-mo like so many
others. You may need to stick a match under him, if not
to make him jump (if he doesn’t do that yet) then to see
if he’s just full of gas. (Hints below for finding another,
if one’s needed.)
You can ask your pastor for every single resource
connection the local church has – and they’ve usually got
a few, for their counseling purposes and/or drumming up
donations. There may be church members who can offer
you pro bono legal services and medical services.
Someone may be able to donate an old but serviceable
car to you. It has been done before and is pretty usual
in many churches.
Certainly, they should do all they can to help you and
your children, as your brothers and sisters in the hurch.
Ask them to pray with you, for the well-being of you and
your children. Don’t mind standing up during services and humbling yourself – it should humble them even more
and might stir their compassion.
Doesn’t The Good Book mention those who turn away or
give aid to those in need? Aren’t we told they may be
“angels unawares” and come as a test of those asked for
aid? But once asked, let it go. Don’t allow yourself to be
embittered if your requests are rejected. They have to
live with that; you get to move on.
Even while waiting, but not relying totally on them,
make calls to women’s centers and look up legal aid
services (may be listed under name other than “legal
aid”). You need these services ASAP.
Call local charities – or even better – go in with your kids and ask them to help you with a car. Your need will be more clear and harder to deny, when you are not alone. Look up “Love, Inc.” and try them if there’s one in your area. It’s a Catholic volunteer org. that does similar things, such as providing furniture. St. Vincent dePaul does the same thing and I’ve never known them to ask for Catholic credentials first. If you have a friend in that church who can talk to them, all the better.
Look up “divorce” (typed in with your state) online and
learn just what your rights are and what can be done to
protect them. Even if your lawyer seems Ok, you need to
know some tips yourself, to make suggestions to
him/her that might flash on a lighbulb moment.
If the judge is dragging on your community property, you can file a request to get his/her attention. I don’t know the name but your lawyer has got to know what to do. A doctor’s letter could come in handy here – see below.
Document your finances before the FI had a chance to
drain or move them, along with all your other shared
property and any money/property that is yours alone.
Get a signed letter from your doctor stating the effects
that the separation, the long divorce process, loss of
your car, your insurance and your financial difficulties are having on your health now and might be in future if
things don’t wrap up fairly and fairly soon. Ask your
doctor to be specific and urgent in the letter. Ask your
doctor if an electric scooter would help to ease your
symptoms and, if so, ask him/her to apply for one, at no
charge to you. Just because you won’t need it forever
doesn’t mean it won’t protect you now.
Being legally disabled, you are entitled to benefits and
your doctor can help you get them by applying directly
for you. Please, don’t delay. You are absolutely entitled
to whatever can help get you through.
These dragged-out delays are more usual than most of
us believe and, hard as it is to deal with extra stress,
you have to keep on your lawyer and your other
connections above here – but nicely – to get some help
and back-up.
This may not all go so well as it has so far – forgive me,
I jest, sorta – so you need to find some resources that
help to calm and soothe you as much as possible. Even
if it all suddenly snaps to and you get the fairness you
deserve quickly, the agony of living with all this betrayal
disappointment and the emotions that won’t let go of
you, will all take a toll of your health.
Please don’t let the FI’s demons devour you. You need
to tame your wolf’s appetitie since you can’t sic it on
him.
This is my first Yahoo Answers post – I hope it’s not too
long. I know it’s not too specific but, having been there,
I can tell you that there aren’t as many specifics as
there should be and these few hints – especially the
doctor’s letter and doing some legal research – might be
important to you. If I could, I’d send you a car and my
wolf to join your wolf in fighting on your behalf.
Patience is a virtue and may help to save your soul but
right now, counseling or a good friend to pray, cry,
scream and holler with may burn off some emotional
pain and ease the physical effects. I’ll be looking for
your reply. I really do care about you and I want to help
you get through this. You’re in my prayers right now.
No matter what – you are much better off with your own
inner wolf than a low-down, tom-cattin’, dog of a man
and your own circumstances will finally get better but
he’ll have to live with his inner demon forever. Seems
fair to me.
Please, reply!
Shar